Untimely

Well, today Neal left with his sister, Tami, to Illinois to take care of their brother and his remains. :( We got the word late Tuesday night around 11:45pm. My mother-in-law called to tell us the bad news. I was still up and just sat down in front of the computer when the dreadful ring came in. No call late at night is good news. Thoughts in my head appeared when the first ring came thru and then my phone registered who it was on the caller ID. SIGH...it was my mother-in-law...what now?

It was hard to hear her have to go thru this...I wasn't there when her first child passed (back in '93) and I couldn't image the pain that she was feeling. I felt so bad b/c I didn't know what to say. Because let's face it...what CAN you say? Nothing really...just lend your ear...that's really all you can do...and your shoulder if you're physically near them.

So I ran to the master bedroom to wake Neal up, who had just fallen asleep and he didn't know what to think when I handed him the other cordless. I stayed on the phone just in case I needed to intervene...didn't know how Neal would take it. He took it pretty well, as to be expected. All he could do too was listen. There was so much silence in the air. Like everything stood still.

The news was hard. How can someone do that to themselves? To their loved one's? The first emotion set in...heartache. Little did we know the other emotions would come as the news settled. Denial, anger, curious, resentment, anger again, then peace.

Neal stayed up for a while with me and we just sat in the family room, quiet...you could hear everything outside. And we live pretty much in the country. Well, in a neighborhood, but most of the neighbors are in bed at 8!

The next day we went over to my mother-in-laws to spend time with her. She was doing a little better but on the phone trying to figure out what was going on up north and what we all needed to do down here.

Neal and his sister decided to go up to Illinois together to claim Bobby and do what Bobby wished...cremation, scatter in different places and then ??? Still unknown.

No note.
No will.
No money.

He is still en route since this morning at 10:30. Last I spoke with him they were doing good with time. They plan to drive straight thru. That is going to be one long 19 hour drive. Wish I could be there with him. For them. But I am...from home. The kids too.